Victoria's Secrets

Stay awhile and listen.

Note to all the boys

I used to be so broken, I admit it, I was. Thinking of just diverting all my attention to everything that can be so called “Fun” to the point I got so lost that I forgot the only thing I wanted most. — Happiness

It’s been years, since I felt how it was to be in love, No, not that cliche feeling of butterflies, but that feeling of looking forward to see someone everyday, that feeling of knowing someone cares despite your flaws and negativity, there will always be someone to tell  you “Love, you’re perfect and I love you”

It’s not that I miss the person, but it’s  the memory of it all that somehow never seems to fade.

——–

Year after year, guy after guy.

I ask myself “Why? Why not him? or him? or him”

That question still bugs me every single time.

I keep on bargaining with myself, to try again, or take a risk, however I just can’t.

When I sense “commitment” coming around the corner, I find ways to just get out of the situation I’m in, causing a broken heart to whoever that LUCKY boy may be.

Also leaving me shattered again and again and again.

It happens to every single guy I try to get romantic with. (Now you know)

When will this curse end?

When will I ever start to love again?

That remains a mystery.

To however is willing to break these shackles

Please do

Pick me up of my feet, hold me and teach me how.

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Departed

In between those lingering nights I chose not to mind, It doesn’t really help ignoring something that’s inevitable.

As I thwart every single useless memory, it somehow never shakes off,  it clings to the very core of me.

Never wanting to leave..

—–

In between each minute of songs that seem to hit me, every word, a multitude of feelings.

As it starts to pour, I hold back, holding everything.

Grasping for that moment, wanting it all back

Such a waste, such a beautiful waste

—–

In  between the sheets and hours of remembering

Gone… nothing is left to say

Scarred and wounded

It would never seem to heal

Time would be a remedy

Soon to aid

—–

Left alone

Nothing but goodbye

I’ll get by, I’ll get by.

Not today

Of words that were never written
Of words that were left unsaid
Of words that had been forgotten
One word
— Regret.

A sweet little symphony of a memory I can almost recall
Somehow something blocks and stops me, a big thick wall
I wish I knew a way back
Back to where it was real
To the time when everything was right, where there was something to feel.

But those people made me hollow,
Fear was my best friend
Never to hold on or trust
Never again

To whoever had a chance
To whoever was bold
I can never be someone you want
Not for very long

A scar, a deep one
Reminds me everyday
“You will never be the same again,
Not today”