Secret no. 28

by Victoria's Secrets

I’m happy, I am really. Not.

Have you noticed I haven’t been posting stuff about my night outs? It’s mainly because I’m tired, I’m tired and I’m tired.

I don’t call it stress and definitely this isn’t about love, I just want to escape really, I feel unimportant, I feel deprived, I feel a lot of things. And it’s really confusing.

I don’t know why, I’m actually teary-eyed making this.. I am lost in a whirlwind of situations I don’t know how to handle anymore..

I used to be a type of girl, who has laid out a plan beforehand with a matching contingency plan in case things go wrong.

I was focused, I had a goal. Now… I am currently proving myself that this is just a phase, that maybe I lack something. But no, I am in my lowest point. My downfall.

(This sounds like a suicide note, but I am not that depressed)

Its been months, I have been thinking of going away, making an escape route, but not permanently but just maybe 4 years of so.

That is why I have been persistent in my plan of studying in Manila

I need a fresh start, I want to know my worth, I need to get back what I lost. I may not know it now, but in time I will.

I tried to hide it, but I just can’t anymore. I am not happy.  Sorry. I used to be carefree, maybe I matured too early. Maybe I have kept my thoughts to myself to long.

I DON’T KNOW.. It’s just sad when I look back, I was always happy, now things changed abruptly.

I can’t pick the pace. I just can’t anymore.